One of the old sayings I enjoy sharing is, “Everyone can make it to the top, but it takes humility to maintain the top”. This may not make sense to you now, but if you like listening to music, we always have the top 10s on the billboard. But maintaining that list is one of the almost impossible things for any artist. When it comes to purpose, the story isn’t that different, the easiest part is to find your purpose, and probably the most difficult thing is to maintain your purpose.
Purpose can spring from something simple, like a hobby, or more complex, such as contributing your service to your community in some way. While there’s no one formula to find that inspiration, there are ways to cultivate it. Here are 10 suggestions to get you started, adapted from the Harvard Special Health Report Self-Care (/scshr), with additional insight from Lee.
10 suggestions to get you started.
1. Zero in on your strengths.
One of the ways we discussed in anchoring your purpose was to find the strengths and things that truly energize you. One way to do this is by asking friends, family, and your partner what comes to mind when they think of you. Do they find you entertaining, compassionate, or artistic? Use their feedback to think about how you can apply these attributes in a way that would give meaning to your life and the lives of others. As you serve others, you multiply your commitment and life goes beyond self. In times of discouragement, those you have helped become an encouragement to you, they become the stepping stone to the next milestone of conquering discouragement.
2. Think about the obstacles you have overcome in your life.
Can you find ways to help others who are going through the same thing? “This can be profound,” Lee says. “Your life experience can help others, which is inherently purposeful.” And the easiest way to do this is by thinking of the things you have been able to overcome, right here on this blog most of the things you are reading related to the quotes I post, are things that have worked for me and many others, as I think of how I overcome many of those obstacles, it gives me more courage to move forward.
3. Draw up a purpose timeline.
Your purpose changes as you age. This does not make moving from one thing to another, you may have begun as a host for speakers, and then you grow into a speaker. Soon you may become a coach for speakers, this later may turn into mentoring other speakers. Finally, in your old age, you may decide to own a firm of speakers. Having this view in mind helps to know that there is something yet more to live for and to improve. You have a vision to achieve.
4. Look for role models.
Are there people whose work you admire? Can you learn how to do something similar? When you feel like you are losing it all, in the multitude of counselors, there is wisdom. If you don’t have these around you, then you can find a mentor to help you along the way. Which takes to point five.
5. Become a mentor and share your knowledge and skills.
The Dead Sea is the Dead Sea because it does not share anything, sometimes people turn to be more self-focused and become selfish for their purpose in life. This is like a plant that doesn’t bear seed, soon it will cease to exist. People often cite the encouragement and wisdom they’ve obtained from others who took the time to care about their careers. “A mentoring relationship is a caring one that enables us to give and receive love,” Lee says. “Reciprocal, caring relationships are often what’s missing as we get older.” find the young trees you can start watering.
6. Think about what the world needs.
There are a great many needs on this planet, and different people will prioritize different ones. Are you concerned about world hunger? Climate change? Injustice? Identify a cause that’s meaningful to you, and think about how you could help. “There are probably a million needs in your community that aren’t being met. Maybe some of those needs require your skill set,” Lee says.
Why not call a local group that interests you and ask about volunteering opportunities? Or visit Volunteer Match (www.volunteermatch.org) for ideas.
7. Read Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning.
It’s a quick, easy read, and it’s been helping people for decades. “Frankl noticed in Nazi death camps that people who were generous, connected with others, and found meaningful ways to support others were more vital and survived longer. They found a way to relate in a loving way to each other, and there was a purpose in doing that. It may inspire you,” Lee says.
8. Write your own story.
Your own lived experience is also worthwhile. Recall the best stories from your childhood and write them down with all the details you can think of. Include answers to important questions about yourself — the kind you wish you had asked your own parents and grandparents. Give the stories to your kids and grandkids.
9. Write your own obituary.
You can do this at any age, maybe not for publication — just for yourself or your family. What do you want to be remembered for? Can any of that inform your purpose now? If you haven’t yet achieved something you’re especially proud of, remember that it’s not too late.
10. Picture yourself winning the lottery.
What would you do without financial concerns standing in the way? Would you travel the world? Volunteer? Figure out ways to do elements of those same things without a financial windfall. For example, if you’ve always wanted to visit Asia, see if you can sign up with a volunteer organization like the Peace Corps (there’s no age limit!).
Extra keys and Tips to maintaining your values and purpose.
I acknowledge that this work is not entirely mine, but I decided to share it because I found it so meaningful and you may find it meaningful too. In addition to the above suggestions of maintaining your purpose in life, comes also what we call taking major decisions or choices in life. Every day that goes by, every moment and minute we have a choice to make. And it’s the accumulation of these choices that finally make our destiny. Here we shall call them trades. As you make these choices (trades) wisely, they will help you maintain your purpose in life.
” It’s not hard to make a decision when you know what your values are.”
Roy E. Disney
That’s the bold Roy E. Disney quote Molly Fletcher opens chapter two of her book, Fearless at Work, with. She offers five suggestions, or what she calls “trades,” to “anchoring your values” and becoming more fearless.
Trade #1: Trade Insecurity for Authenticity:
As the former sports agent turn motivational speaker puts it, “Authenticity creates security and confidence…The smaller moments of authenticity that you rack up, the more your confidence will grow and the more opportunities you will see for greater fearlessness.”
Trade #2: Trade Status for Legacy:
Fletcher writes, “one of the easiest fears to succumb to is the fear of losing status. It can be your income, job position, social rank, or anything you perceive as an important measuring stick to others. Threats of status are often immediate and urgent. It’s hard to step back and see the big picture. And it’s important to create space to consider your legacy—what you want people to ultimately remember you for. Your legacy is built on all the small moments that you string together.”
Trade #3: Trade Entitlement for Humility:
You, no doubt, have heard of or read about Diana Nyad. She’s the 64-year-old woman who, after four failed attempts, finally swam in shark-infested waters from Cuba to Florida. She, Fletcher argues, was entitled to glory after enduring 53 solitary hours in the water, but instead, took the road of humility. Nyad celebrated her victory saying, ‘This looks like a solitary sport, but it’s a team.’ She gladly shared the spotlight with her “35-person support team of doctors, navigators, special equipment staff, divers…”etc.
“Sharing the credit can be scary. What if outsiders miss your importance? That is the fear that keeps people focused on themselves. When you stop hanging on so tight to what other people think, you can be fearless about standing up for what is important to you.”
Trade#4: Trade Adult Limits to Childhood Play:
Ooh, to be a fearless kid again. Fletcher urges the reader to, “think back on what that was like for you. Kids often have natural fearlessness that is lost in adulthood. We learn to worry that we might fail or look dumb. Did that happen as a result of the small moments in your journey? Did your pure joy drip away as you grew up? Our childhood play is so important because it can point to our greater passions and talents.” “If you are ever stuck without much purpose in your life, try looking back at what you enjoyed as a kid. Ask yourself, ‘how can I make my adult work mirror my childhood play?’ Protect your playfulness. Be fearless. Keep going.”
Trade#5: Trade Certainty for Joy:
We don’t know what’s down the road of life. Emergency, catastrophe, disaster, etc. Fletcher makes the point that, you can’t be “entirely certain about events that will rock your world.” Acknowledge and accept this. By doing so, she says, “we move into a truer understanding of fearing less and creating more joy.”
“When we convince ourselves that we need to be sure, that we need to minimize what we can’t control, we decrease the room in our lives for our deepest happiness. The pursuit of certainty can prevent us from moving into our true purpose, where joy lies and fearlessness grows.”
So wisely always pause for a moment and know which trade you must make to maintain your purpose in life, making the wrong trade means making the wrong choice, and mistaken decisions sometimes begin a chain of events you and I cannot stop. Success in maintaining your purpose in life.